Typical New Yorker Being A Bitch On The Subway.

The commute from a backwoods NJ rural town to NYC, and an overnight shift with a sometimes aggressive man who suffers from dementia, left me drained and exhausted. It also left me a little careless, as I quickly stepped onto the subway car, worried that if I didn't move quickly enough the doors would close on the tip of my nose, forcing me to wait another 15 minutes with a stuffed book bag on my back, and another bag in hand, not to mention a sore nose.

Luckily, I made it onto the subway car with all my things and my nose intact. Then suddenly, I heard an angry voice yell 'If you wait a minute I'll move!' My jaw dropped. Whoa, that was nasty! Is she talking to me?! Did I bump into her or shove her without realizing? It was an accident! Unintentional bumps or shoves should be expected by people who live in the rustle and bustle of NYC! And someone who did so without the intention to harm certainly doesn't deserve such a nasty attitude!

True or false, none of that matters, at all. To engage those thoughts would have been for me to engage my pride. And when we engage our pride, others engage their own pride and the whole thing gets ugly very quickly. So I thought, let me try something different and let go of pride. Let me just try it, if for even just this once, and see what happens if I let go of my desire to defend my position as a victim of her nastiness. Let me just try it and see what would happen if I let go of my desire to show her why she was wrong for having a bad attitude. Let me just see what happens if I just try it, and let go of my pride.

Here's what happened to me in this instance when I let go of my pride.

I walked over to her and gently asked 'excuse me, did I bump into you before?'

Looking up at me from her seat, she rolled her eyes towards the top of her head, closed her eyelids and began to nod adamantly, accentuating her chin's upward, and then downward motion.

'Oh, I am so sorry, I didn't even notice it happen. I am really sorry'

She put her hand out towards me as if to tell me not to fret and said 'Thank you'. She seemed appreciative.

That felt so much better than holding onto my pride and starting some pointless scuffle. If I had done that, I would have an angry feeling attached to that memory. I might have remembered her as a "typical New Yorker" or "that mean bitch from the subway".

I am so glad I chose to leave pride behind and apologize to her. Now when I think of that incident, I actually like her, and remember her fondly.

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, take a few deep breaths, and just try it, just once just try it. Please.

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