We Persevere.

In times of great pain and fear we can look at a photo like this and be reminded of human potential for resilience.

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What about forgiving myself?

So in my last post I spoke about forgiving others, but I left out a step, forgiving yourself. In step 2 it says to remember ways you have mistreated others that are similar to the way someone else mistreated you. This can help you relate better to the person who hurt you and soften your judgment and anger towards them, hence making it easier to forgive them. 

But before that, you have to forgive yourself for your own "less than becoming" behaviors. This has entirely to do with loving yourself, ALL of you, not just the parts that are deemed acceptable. After all, that's what really loving someone is, accepting all of them, both the darkness and the lightness. 

Shadow therapy, which may be done in the context of psychedelic psychotherapy, can aide in this process. I strongly encourage you to listen to the podcast I have posted whether you suffer from low confidence, lack of self love, or not.

It is an exciting and enlightening speech for anyone to hear.

Speech delivered by Researcher and Author, Ann Shulgin, at Mind States Conference in Jamaica in October 2002.








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When you forgive them you are free.

I have broken forgiving those who hurt us into a simple stepwise process, but it we all know it is not that simple. This is merely meant to be an inspiring guideline. The journey can be long and will require determination, consistency, and practice.

Step 1. Remind yourself of what it is about that person that you find so terrible, or of the things he or she has done that you felt were unfair and hurtful. 

Step 2. Look inward. Think about the things you find so terrible about the person who hurt you, or someone you don’t respect, and then look for those things within yourself. Try to remember a time when you did something similar to someone else (maybe even make a list!) and remember all the factors surrounding your actions. Were you having a bad day? Were you feeling insecure or threatened? Were there more distal factors such as childhood experiences that may have contributed to your behavior?

Step 3. Have compassion. Step 2 is important because it allows us to relate to the one who has hurt us. Think to yourself for example, ‘When I did X, I was actually really scared…maybe the one who hurt me did what he did because he was scared too’. It is easy to have compassion for those you can relate to.

Step 4. Forgive and enjoy the freedom! Once you have compassion for the one who has hurt you it becomes easier to forgive.

Note: We often think of forgiveness as something we do for others. While it does prevent us from potentially being nasty or hurtful to the person who has hurt us and those who have not, it also liberates us from our own anger and cleanses the spirit. I would like to make it a point to say that forgiveness does not equate to trust. Just because we forgive someone does not mean that we need to fully take them back into our lives, unless it seems appropriate to you given your situation. However, forgiveness does mean that you hold no more anger towards the one who has hurt you and that you wish that person wellness and happiness.


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